I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
