she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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