My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize