Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
