OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
