Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize