Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She's not a foreskin expert like you
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
