thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize