dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
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You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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