No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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