Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
