For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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