Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
