There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
