Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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