I wish I could punch you in the face.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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