I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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