My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Enjoy the penises
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
