I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
