I wish I could punch you in the face.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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