I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I think my moral compass just broke
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
