He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
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just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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