Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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