I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize