ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
