remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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