I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
