She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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