is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
