You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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