I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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