At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
