I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
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RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
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I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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