Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
