dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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