That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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