I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
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I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
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He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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