Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
