omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Non-Jews are for practice
this just has baby written all over it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
