Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
