Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
