Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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