Dual....:-)
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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