just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
