Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
