I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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