bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
