I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
