Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
