puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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