I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
