I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
