Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize