***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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