He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
